Blow Up Your TV...

In a state of psychosis brought on by celiac disease, she murdered her newborn son. This episode of House was the final straw, the catalyst needed to push me into action and finally cancel my cable subscription. When did our culture decide that we need so many channels, so many shows, all dedicated to death, near-death, murder, unspeakable crimes? Even the news focuses in on the most gruesome heart-wrenchers it can muster up: “Fire ripped through these townhouses last night, killing 5 people, 3 of them children. Why was this young mother murdered by a member of her own family? Also, an instant fix to make you look 1o pounds lighter! Details at11:00.″ Tragedy and vanity, the two things that get the viewers attention, all neatly wrapped up in 3 sentences.

Perhaps the most important question is this: Why is this what gets the viewers attention? Why do we feel compelled to listen to such awfulness, to share it with others? “Did you hear about that shooting in Illinois?” “A man killed his own children”. This kind of thing gets circulated around so quickly. Even the local paper has a ”national” section, which seems to be devoted entirely to the most terrible things it can possibly find going on the world.

We had no cable for years. 5 years, to be exact. We had an old TV on a cart with wheels we kept in the back room. When we wanted to watch a movie, we had to make the effort to bring the TV in the room and hook it up. This effectively made it a conscious act, something special. We kept this going even when we decided to pay the extra $10 a month to have basic cable along with our internet connection. But somewhere over the past few years, that old TV has managed to creep itself in, losing the wheels and becoming a permanent fixture in our living room. More and more it started to get turned on. Once it’s on, one show seems to flow into the other, until before we know it, we’ve just seen 3 murders, 2 betrayals, 5 high speed chases and countless sexy bodies, topped off with a miserable dose of the 11:00 news.

I’ve been going to bed a nervous wreck, my heart heavy with tragic accidents, horrific murders, and deadly fires. In those last few moments before sleep, I’m worried sick that my infant daughter’s bedroom, just down the hall, is too far away should the unspeakable happen. What if her crib falls through the floor? What if there is a fire below her room, and the smoke alarm doesn’t go off? What if someone breaks in and murders us all in our sleep? What happens if we have a head-on collision while driving because a drunk driver swerves in our lane, or a block of ice flies off a truck and through our windshield? What if someone kidnaps our children? These things happen all the time, right? It’s only a matter of time before one happens to us!

In the distorted world view of television, such things are all we seem to hear about. The truth of the matter is, for every horrible thing to happen to a family, there are millions of other families tucking their little ones in, happily going on vacations, making dinner, visiting friends, and many other everyday pleasantries. Let’s examine some facts:

In 2004, the US Fire Administration states that 12 people per million of the national population were killed in a fire; for each fatality, 999,988 people are still around.

The Death Penalty Information Center says that in 2006, out of 299,398,484 Americans, there were only 17,034 people who had their lives ended by another. That’s 299,381,450 people still kicking.

But according to the Anxiety Disorders Association of America,

“Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older (18.1% of U.S. population)…Anxiety disorders cost the U.S. more than $42 billion a year, almost one-third of the country’s $148 billion total mental health bill, according to “The Economic Burden of Anxiety Disorders,” a study commissioned by ADAA and published in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry.”

Sounds like I should be worried about the stress that accompanies worrying more than the reasons behind it!

In defense of TV, it’s not all crap. There are some perfectly good shows out there. Unfortunately, it seemed to me that every one we really wanted to see was on HBO, which we don’t get anyway. This is why, instead of a total turn-off, I decided Netflix was the way to go. Now to tell the family.

My husband was the easiest. I was much like the boy in the Emperor’s New Clothes. I simply had to point out the obvious. The TV crime shows has their usual background place the next night. I basically said “It’s crap- let’s cancel it.” After a few seconds of silence, he said, “Great! Just get me more books at the library.” And with that, he stood up and turned it off. Huzzah!

And now to tell my elementary-age daughters. I explained we were canceling, so we would have to say goodbye to Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune, their beloved hour of nightly TV. But now we could do Netflix. That meant finally getting the entire Avatar DVD set, since we can never seem to figure out when it’s on anyway. “You mean we just pick stuff on the computer and it comes in the mail? Awesome!” And with that, I called the cable company, canceled and loaded up our Netflix queue.

It took 3 days for the cable to go off. The girls checked every day until they excitedly exclaimed “It’s Gone! Bye cable!” Last night, I finally got to watch the first disc of “Extras, season 1.” I went to bed without a single bad thought in my head and slept like a rock. Hallelujah!